Unsettled

I have been feeling so "unsettled." I want to be free to go and do whatever I want. I am sure that it is an inner conflict of every married woman with children. I got to go out with the girls on Friday night. It was so much fun (I had a little too much tequila)! Last night I got to get coffee and read for about 45 minutes. I treasure my moments alone. And yet I feel guilty for not wanting to spend all my time with my kids, or not being grateful that I get to stay home with them. I am grateful. I really am doing what I want to. I love doing daycare and I love being a mother. And Shane is the best husband in the world. I guess I just have a damn independent spirit and wish I could be everything that I want to be. Perhaps if I didn't have to clean and organize all the time then I could have "me" time after the kids went to bed. I keep reminding myself that the kids will soon be grown up enough to help with all the chores. Part of the problem may be that it is winter and cold and we ALL feel cooped up. In the summer I can send the kids outside or sit on the deck and read while they play. Sigh...