Tuesday, October 19, 2010

In the heat of the semester.

I just read the first two Hunger Games books and a memoir, The Same Kind of Different As I Am. It has felt really good to sink my teeth into some books. I am about to start Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love). I really don't know how I am fitting leisure reading into my life in addition to my studies. I have a paper to write today and a presentation due tomorrow. I have a test Friday and I haven't even read the chapters. I'm pulling my As though.

Last Saturday Shane and I brought Colton and Calvin to a comic book show and Carrera stayed home with her cousin Damaris. Damaris just turned 17! They had a fabulous day together. It was a good break for the boys and I. We had a fun lunch at our favorite pizza restaurant in Maple Grove. We talked about girls and school.

On Sunday Colton and Calvin attended a birthday party for a friend from school. Carrera and I went back early and hung out. It was the highlight of my week. T's (the birthday boy) parents are fabulous. They have a tiki bar out by the lake at their house. A fully stocked tiki bar. We drank wine and talked about the Chinese program, about life, and briefly before I left about politics. It's been a long time since I've been able to hang out with kindred spirits and just be me. I think I needed the break from the pressures surrounding me every day here in my home.

Shane and I have been contemplating what marriage means and what we want it to mean. Shane is considerably less introspective than I am. I HATE marriage and being married, but mostly because of the religious connotations of marriage in our culture. For a woman marriage is a trap. I feel trapped in a web of pressures of being the wife and mother. I want to be me, not the wife. I want to be Rachel, free to make choices that aren't always revolving around Shane. I know, selfish right? But for some reason men don't feel that same pressure as husbands that we do as wives.

Well, that is life in the heat of the semester... in a nutshell.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home