Turning to chocolate.

Today I turn to chocolate. A dangerous choice, I know. Those yummy chocolate stars have been starring at me for days from the top of the fridge. I shoved them into the back of the cupboard hoping to forget their existence, but they still called to me. So, with my head and heart burdened, I turn to them. Asking them, please to not make me crabby or angry, asking them to comfort me.

I paused my writing to throw the rest of them in the garbage. The reality hit me: these chocolates are only going to surge me with discontent and longing for something more. Something more that can't be defined, and then I would spend my day wallowing in my own misery. Of course the damage may already be done - I ate at least a dozen before the rest landed in the garbage.

There are times in life when I just have to stop, throw my hands in the air and say "I give up!" Life take me where I need to go because I am at a loss. Nothing is easy right now. Nothing makes sense in my mind or heart. I love, I live, I am at a loss for words.