New Beginnings.
Shane and I are getting divorced
It isn't the fault of either of us (or at least I'm choosing not to place blame). We fought out this part of our journey together for nine years. Being complete opposites with very different life goals, the challenges began to outweigh the benefits for both of us. I think he may be having a harder time with it than I am. Although I hide it all very well. Perhaps too well.
I cried for the first time last night. In front of my kids. Calvin told me something that I always tell him, "Mom, its okay to cry... It lets out the negative emotions." That made me laugh and then cry harder. I miss having someone here to talk to and tell about my day and what I am learning. I also miss being held.
I am excited to see what the future brings to me. Well, the "present" actually. I am focusing on being present with this whole experience. I am seeking the universe and myself, the self that I lost somewhere along the way.
I've started touching things, like tables and walls and fabric. I am really beginning to feel my surroundings. Perhaps the next step will be learning to feel my actual feelings.
It isn't the fault of either of us (or at least I'm choosing not to place blame). We fought out this part of our journey together for nine years. Being complete opposites with very different life goals, the challenges began to outweigh the benefits for both of us. I think he may be having a harder time with it than I am. Although I hide it all very well. Perhaps too well.
I cried for the first time last night. In front of my kids. Calvin told me something that I always tell him, "Mom, its okay to cry... It lets out the negative emotions." That made me laugh and then cry harder. I miss having someone here to talk to and tell about my day and what I am learning. I also miss being held.
I am excited to see what the future brings to me. Well, the "present" actually. I am focusing on being present with this whole experience. I am seeking the universe and myself, the self that I lost somewhere along the way.
I've started touching things, like tables and walls and fabric. I am really beginning to feel my surroundings. Perhaps the next step will be learning to feel my actual feelings.
posted by Rachel at 10:11 AM
1 Comments:
I'm sorry to hear that, Rachel. I hope you will find comfort (and yourself) through this time. I don't know your story, but I'm glad it sounds like you don't hate the guy. It is so much better for the kids when parents don't play the blame game (esp. in front of them!)
I'll be keeping your family in my prayers during this transition.
Jenny Walz
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