100%

One of my daycare moms and I agreed yesterday that we could both be professional students. I LOVE school. I love tests and papers and learning new things. Then after our agreement she said "But I have to do everything 100%." My tendency to read into things made me immediately think "Does she think that I don't do everything 100%?" Later thoughts were more rational. Maybe she couldn't go to school, work and be a mom and do it all 100%, but that doesn't mean that I can't be a daycare mom, real mom, and student and do it all 100%. So I thought hard about what I am slacking in. I guess I give 100% as a daycare mom, 95% as a real mom 90% as a student, and 90% as a wife. Why are my priorities as such? Well, maybe because my standards are ungodly high. I wish that I could go volunteer in the kids' classrooms. I wish I could be a stay-at-home-mom of my three kids. I wish that on Shane's days off I could focus on him and what he needs. I really can't be or do those things, so I have to give them less than a 100% rating. But, under the circumstances, really I am giving all that I can to everything. Perhaps that is why I have moments where I feel burnt out and over stretched. Yet I have moments of great excitement and pride. I LOVE that I can do all that I do. I love that I get to be a daycare mama and I personally think I do a pretty damn good job at it. I love that I can be home for and with my own kids. They KNOW that I love them. And even if Shane wishes we could be lovers more than partners, we don't fight (much), and we are in-love. And being a student has become my outlet. I am all that I am, and I am 100%.