Lists.
Lists.
I have been making lots of lists.
The major one is my boundaries right now. I haven't been good with setting boundaries... ever. I feel that I have been stumbling and tripping ever since Shane and I decided to split. I want to make friendships, but don't know quite how to not give too much of myself. It is embarrassing! I make a stupid choice or two and want to crawl in my closet and die. I have been to eager to get out and live a little. I am learning to accept all things about myself, but I am unwilling to stay in a rut, if you will. So I have some major "rules" for myself. A huge one is that I am trying to listen to the "little voice." I am rather intuitive, but often I question my intuitions and that voice that says: "don't do that" or "take a step back" and especially the one that says "you are okay even without affirmation" or "you have all you need." Abundance. I wrote that an the end of my last blog as a reminder to myself of what a friend said to me on Tuesday. And I forgot to delete it. I have an abundance; an abundance of time... an abundance of finances (I have enough)... and abundance of support. The universe is providing those things, but what I need is an abundance of positive. I find myself slinking into the negatives of life, of being alone. At first it was intoxicating, then challenging, now it just is. I am learning to be alone.
Back to lists. I have one of things I want to learn and do, like cross country skiing, ballet, voice lessons, and travelling. I have a list of the negotiable and non-negotiable in a future mate. I have one of all the projects I want to do in the house this next spring. It is exciting!
Now I need to get back to work. Snack is over.
I have been making lots of lists.
The major one is my boundaries right now. I haven't been good with setting boundaries... ever. I feel that I have been stumbling and tripping ever since Shane and I decided to split. I want to make friendships, but don't know quite how to not give too much of myself. It is embarrassing! I make a stupid choice or two and want to crawl in my closet and die. I have been to eager to get out and live a little. I am learning to accept all things about myself, but I am unwilling to stay in a rut, if you will. So I have some major "rules" for myself. A huge one is that I am trying to listen to the "little voice." I am rather intuitive, but often I question my intuitions and that voice that says: "don't do that" or "take a step back" and especially the one that says "you are okay even without affirmation" or "you have all you need." Abundance. I wrote that an the end of my last blog as a reminder to myself of what a friend said to me on Tuesday. And I forgot to delete it. I have an abundance; an abundance of time... an abundance of finances (I have enough)... and abundance of support. The universe is providing those things, but what I need is an abundance of positive. I find myself slinking into the negatives of life, of being alone. At first it was intoxicating, then challenging, now it just is. I am learning to be alone.
Back to lists. I have one of things I want to learn and do, like cross country skiing, ballet, voice lessons, and travelling. I have a list of the negotiable and non-negotiable in a future mate. I have one of all the projects I want to do in the house this next spring. It is exciting!
Now I need to get back to work. Snack is over.
posted by Rachel at 9:44 AM
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