Low

Do we have a purpose? This is one of the few reasons I can find right now to believe that a god/source does exist.

Today I have been feeling... lost. I've been cooped up at home all weekend with two buckie boys and Carrera. I enjoy cleaning and organizing on the weekends usually, but this weekend I can't seem to find any extra energy.

Take note that while saying that I did 1) sort through Colton and Calvin's clothes to eliminate stuff they have outgrown, 2) washed and put away at least four loads of laundry, 3) changed the sheets on the daycare cribs, 4) cleaned the upstairs bathroom, 5) vacuumed the whole house, 6) painted my toes 7) made all meals and snacks for the kids, etc. But I feel like I didn't accomplish much. Besides, I really just want to get out of the house and have some coffee.

So here I am stuck at home. It is gloomy out and I'm not feeling good. And questioning what is really of value in life. I think about friendship a lot. I am one of those people that feels I can never have enough friends. I also am a friend for life. I love to stay connected or reconnect with people from the past. So I value friendship. Unfortunately there isn't much friendship building or creating when you have little kids. I can't even talk on the phone without them bugging me.

With that said, the biggest purpose I have is them. I love being a mother. And now I have to go make dinner.