Depths.

So much on my mind.

I am laying here in an empty house, feeling not so tough. I have worked and worked for this life I have. I have labored to make a home that is safe, full of love, beautiful, put together. And here I am alone. What is a home without family?

There is so much to think about. Am I enough? Can I make it through this? I have only felt weak a handful of times since Shane left. And tonight I feel weak. I do want someone to lean on. I want to feel there is someone I can trust to help me right now. And yet, I want to prove that I was and still am that confident put together woman.

Where do I go when I am weak? I curl up inside and shut the doors. I don't want to do that anymore. Where is there a place I can lose it?

I want to scream at God.