Moving forward.

Today I am meeting with my therapist... for the last time. We are closing the file.

It seems crazy really. Three years of therapy added up to walking away from my marriage, only to find that all those remaining anxieties and fears and failures and feelings of inadequacy just melted off. I am happy. I feel fulfilled. I feel true to myself. I feel amazing really. Today is the day.

My best friend came over last night after we had coffee at our secret hideout. I laugh. After nine years of being unhappy and unfulfilled, I am learning again to laugh. The universe is filling my life with people that help me laugh. Everywhere I look I see joy. I can appreciate the little things. And I love life.

Three years of therapy, and the answer is to walk away. The answer was to admit failure. Perhaps it takes two to fail in a marriage. But I am becoming okay with the idea that I may have failed. I did my best. I pulled on every resource I could. I read books, talked with friends, met with a therapist weekly. And now, I am letting nine years pass behind me, stepping off the beaten trail, and making a new path.

I am not perfect. I see my flaws. I see challenges as I move forward. I still have work to do. I need to let go of unhealthy expectations of others, life, and most importantly, of myself. I am ready for those new challenges. I am excited for moving forward.