Cul-de-sac.
If you would have told me ten years ago that I would have the confidence to call the cops about ANYTHING I would have told you "You don't know me at all." As a passive and insecure college student avoidance was my tactic to solving all problems. I've grown up. Confrontation is a newly acquired skill and I haven't mastered it.
Tonight I called the cops about my neighbor harassing my Colton. The kids know to not touch the neighbor lady's driveway or lawn (or tree). They take great care to keep out of her way and avoid her. She has yelled at them and the other neighbor kids so often that I don't have to tell them that she is "mean" or a "witch" (They figured that out a long time ago). I'll be honest, I did tell them recently that she may be a witch in disguise, just like in fairy tales. That may not have been a smart move, but I thought it might help them to keep away from her and also to not take her TOO seriously.
She is probably only in her early 70s and widowed one and a half years ago (if I remember correctly). She has always been a bit crotchety, but friendly enough with me. She even gave me a baby gift when Colton and Calvin were born. She has grand kids now and they live up the road. She even babysat the other day for her grand daughter.
We live on a cul-de-sac and a bunch of the kids from the houses around us like to bike and roller blade in the cul-de-sac. My kids have strict rules about wearing helmets, staying on the edges of the cul-de-sac, watching for traffic (there is none) and freezing where they are when anyone drives into the cul-de-sac. I have been very impressed with how well my kids follow the rules and have never had any of the neighbors complain (Actually I have only heard good things from all the other neighbors).
Well, the 'witch in disguise' told Colton from her car to get out of the cul-de-sac and that he needs to stay in our driveway. I was so upset that I was shaking. He had been following the rules. I was in the garage and watching the kids so I know he was biking around the edge. When she came back about a half hour later I went over to talk to her. I thought maybe he had misinterpreted her comment. Maybe she just wanted him to move so that she wouldn't have to worry about hitting him. Oh no, he had not misinterpreted her. She told me that kids should not be 'playing' in the cul-de-sac and should stay in their own driveways (Side note: No wonder all her kids are fat as grownups. They were never allowed to get an exercise outside of the driveway.). I told her that if she had a problem with my kids she should come over and talk with me and not harass them, and if she harassed them again I would call the cops. She told me that she was going to call the cops about my kids. So I came home and called. I just wanted it reported in case it would happen again, but the police officer came to the house and talked with me. He said it really doesn't matter where the kids are in the cul-de-sac, that this is a residential area and people that live here know there are kids and should drive accordingly. He said he'd talk with her. So he knocked on her door and she didn't answer. He came back and told me he was going to wait a little while for her. She came out and talked with him about 15 minutes later.
So now I'm wondering if it was really the right choice. It really was the last straw for me. I thought that she would be nice and we could talk politely as neighbors. I actually was crying when I went over there because I was so nervous and I don't like friction. Now there will be friction. Should I have sucked it up again, and not done anything? Should I have just told her to come to me instead of harassing my kids all the time and left it at that? Did I overreact because I'm getting my period and am a susceptible to overreaction in this state? I am completely second guessing myself right now. But I can't go back in time and change anything. I feel proud that after all this time of saying that I am going to go give her a piece of my mind that I finally did.
I've been thinking, what makes a person old and crotchety? I am taking a Community Psych class and in our text book it says that we choose to be old. I think that is true. My neighbor isn't a bad person. She may be bitter and sad at what life has dealt her. This doesn't mean that she has to take it out on my kids, but it does mean that I can show her compassion. How do we show compassion AND set boundaries?
(Afterthought: SO FUNNY! I refused to look out the window when the neighbor was talking with the officer, but the kids were all three watching. They were giving me a play-by-play. I guess she was pointing to them in the window and flailing her arms. They kept saying things like: "I think she is saying that we are stupid." "I think that she is saying we don't listen to our mom and are bad kids." "I think she is saying that you are a bad mom." They had me laughing through my tears. I cried pretty hard for about an hour and a half and Carrera kept saying "Top crying mom. Nobody dead.")
Tonight I called the cops about my neighbor harassing my Colton. The kids know to not touch the neighbor lady's driveway or lawn (or tree). They take great care to keep out of her way and avoid her. She has yelled at them and the other neighbor kids so often that I don't have to tell them that she is "mean" or a "witch" (They figured that out a long time ago). I'll be honest, I did tell them recently that she may be a witch in disguise, just like in fairy tales. That may not have been a smart move, but I thought it might help them to keep away from her and also to not take her TOO seriously.
She is probably only in her early 70s and widowed one and a half years ago (if I remember correctly). She has always been a bit crotchety, but friendly enough with me. She even gave me a baby gift when Colton and Calvin were born. She has grand kids now and they live up the road. She even babysat the other day for her grand daughter.
We live on a cul-de-sac and a bunch of the kids from the houses around us like to bike and roller blade in the cul-de-sac. My kids have strict rules about wearing helmets, staying on the edges of the cul-de-sac, watching for traffic (there is none) and freezing where they are when anyone drives into the cul-de-sac. I have been very impressed with how well my kids follow the rules and have never had any of the neighbors complain (Actually I have only heard good things from all the other neighbors).
Well, the 'witch in disguise' told Colton from her car to get out of the cul-de-sac and that he needs to stay in our driveway. I was so upset that I was shaking. He had been following the rules. I was in the garage and watching the kids so I know he was biking around the edge. When she came back about a half hour later I went over to talk to her. I thought maybe he had misinterpreted her comment. Maybe she just wanted him to move so that she wouldn't have to worry about hitting him. Oh no, he had not misinterpreted her. She told me that kids should not be 'playing' in the cul-de-sac and should stay in their own driveways (Side note: No wonder all her kids are fat as grownups. They were never allowed to get an exercise outside of the driveway.). I told her that if she had a problem with my kids she should come over and talk with me and not harass them, and if she harassed them again I would call the cops. She told me that she was going to call the cops about my kids. So I came home and called. I just wanted it reported in case it would happen again, but the police officer came to the house and talked with me. He said it really doesn't matter where the kids are in the cul-de-sac, that this is a residential area and people that live here know there are kids and should drive accordingly. He said he'd talk with her. So he knocked on her door and she didn't answer. He came back and told me he was going to wait a little while for her. She came out and talked with him about 15 minutes later.
So now I'm wondering if it was really the right choice. It really was the last straw for me. I thought that she would be nice and we could talk politely as neighbors. I actually was crying when I went over there because I was so nervous and I don't like friction. Now there will be friction. Should I have sucked it up again, and not done anything? Should I have just told her to come to me instead of harassing my kids all the time and left it at that? Did I overreact because I'm getting my period and am a susceptible to overreaction in this state? I am completely second guessing myself right now. But I can't go back in time and change anything. I feel proud that after all this time of saying that I am going to go give her a piece of my mind that I finally did.
I've been thinking, what makes a person old and crotchety? I am taking a Community Psych class and in our text book it says that we choose to be old. I think that is true. My neighbor isn't a bad person. She may be bitter and sad at what life has dealt her. This doesn't mean that she has to take it out on my kids, but it does mean that I can show her compassion. How do we show compassion AND set boundaries?
(Afterthought: SO FUNNY! I refused to look out the window when the neighbor was talking with the officer, but the kids were all three watching. They were giving me a play-by-play. I guess she was pointing to them in the window and flailing her arms. They kept saying things like: "I think she is saying that we are stupid." "I think that she is saying we don't listen to our mom and are bad kids." "I think she is saying that you are a bad mom." They had me laughing through my tears. I cried pretty hard for about an hour and a half and Carrera kept saying "Top crying mom. Nobody dead.")
posted by Rachel at 8:40 PM
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