No, I'm not psycho.
I have this irrational fear that either #1 with no forewarning signs a daycare parent will quit bringing their kid with no explanation or #2 with no forewarning signs a daycare parent will rip me apart for doing something that I had no clue I was doing and then take their kid out of my daycare. I know, classic adult child of an alcoholic. I have to remind myself sometimes that even though I have all these irrational beliefs or thoughts, that I am not psycho. At least I can see the irrationality in them.
Related to this fear is another fear that everyone will blame me for any problems with their kids, mostly things like their kids getting sick. I had to face this fear head on this week. Colton and Calvin had Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD) when they were little (as far as I know you can only have it once), and I have actually worried specifically about the daycare kids all getting it (and as a result I am very aware of my sanitation practices). It is spread by saliva, but also through contact with human feces. Basically, for me, I've always feared that it would be an indication that I was not doing a good enough job keeping everything sanitary. Ok, totally irrational. Kids suck on toys and share them all the time. No matter what I do, unless I don't allow the kids to play together, stuff is going to spread, especially highly contagious diseases like HFMD. Who would know for sure who had it first and where they got it. Really it could be picked up anywhere!
So, all but one of the kids in my daycare had it this past week. I spent yesterday in high anxiety mode and I probably will have a good cry today (I can feel it). Even though I know that it is not my fault that everyone got sick, I still feel that I am to blame. So, I keep breathing and telling myself "this too shall pass," while secretly waiting for a child not to show up tomorrow or a bang on my door from an outraged parent.
Related to this fear is another fear that everyone will blame me for any problems with their kids, mostly things like their kids getting sick. I had to face this fear head on this week. Colton and Calvin had Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD) when they were little (as far as I know you can only have it once), and I have actually worried specifically about the daycare kids all getting it (and as a result I am very aware of my sanitation practices). It is spread by saliva, but also through contact with human feces. Basically, for me, I've always feared that it would be an indication that I was not doing a good enough job keeping everything sanitary. Ok, totally irrational. Kids suck on toys and share them all the time. No matter what I do, unless I don't allow the kids to play together, stuff is going to spread, especially highly contagious diseases like HFMD. Who would know for sure who had it first and where they got it. Really it could be picked up anywhere!
So, all but one of the kids in my daycare had it this past week. I spent yesterday in high anxiety mode and I probably will have a good cry today (I can feel it). Even though I know that it is not my fault that everyone got sick, I still feel that I am to blame. So, I keep breathing and telling myself "this too shall pass," while secretly waiting for a child not to show up tomorrow or a bang on my door from an outraged parent.
posted by Rachel at 8:18 AM
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