No news is good news.

Highlights:

• Carrera is potty trained. I am a firm believer in letting (strong-willed, no way but my way) kids train themselves (unless they are 4 or 5, in which case, there may be other factors involved). On Monday she took her diaper off without telling me, and just started using the toilet. Last time she wanted to toilet train I put her back in diapers because she decided it was ok to pee in the corners of the house, and I said "As soon as you're ready to use the toilet - let me know." I guess she let me know. She woke up dry this morning too. All this with very little stress on me and Shane.
• All my daycare kids under age 2 (and two older than 2) have had H1N1 symptoms at some point in the last three weeks. Three kids are out sick today, yet I feel like it is almost over. All the kids here seem to be feeling pretty good. My own kids somehow evaded it all! Yeah! Last year, my kids were the ones getting sick.
• I haven't felt like doing homework this week, yet I am still maintaining A's.
• I have eight daycare kids right now (5 FT;3 PT), but it works out so that I have a max of only six on Mon, Tue, Thur, Fri (usually only 4 kids on Tue). The only time I have all eight is Wednesdays.
• Halloween was a success. We had a really fun daycare party, and relaxing weekend.
• I built a loft bed for Calvin. I am hoping that the contractor will come in the next two weeks to do Colton's room, then I will build his loft bed. I want it done before Thanksgiving weekend because my brother and his wife are staying with us, and I want them to stay in Colton's new room. His room would be quieter and more secluded than any other room. Josh & Kiki like their privacy.

Well, that is all I can think of.

Someone.

Morning world. I'm angry with the universe today. Angry that I am who I am. Life would be so much easier without a) being sensitive, b) being smart, c) having anxiety. Life is a dance, until I trip up. Someone might be offended with me, someone might think that I am not doing a good enough job, someone might not like me. SOMEONE! SOMEONE! SOMEONE!

I keep my mouth shut. Portraying a Rachel that has it all together, all the time. Yet, no one can have it all together all the time. I feel guilty breaking down. I feel guilty telling my kids its a movie night because I'm not feeling good. I feel guilty crying. What does it mean to be 'human'? Can anyone maintain perfection?