Now.

I LOVE working with kids!!!

Last Vacation

Today is the LAST day of our LAST week of vacation. I am a little sad. We had a really great time as a family. We started out the week getting things done so that the kids are all ready for school. They had their physicals and hair cuts and bought new tennis shoes. Later in the week they got their pictures taken. Tuesday we drove up to Duluth and stayed in a hotel with a pool. It was so much fun swimming with the kids!! We also went to the Depot train museum and children's museum, and walked down Canal street, shopped, walked down the pier and watched some huge ships coming into the harbor. Shane and the boys have been playing with LEGOs for the last two days. Friday I went and saw Johnny Holm in New Munich and met up with some friends there. Then yesterday my little brother was in Minnesota so I met him for coffee in Monticello. Last night Shane and I went out on a date and bought Colton and Calvin's birthday presents.

Carrera's birthday party is tonight. She turns two tomorrow. Colton and Calvin have two weeks to wait until their birthday party. Calvin bought Colton a $13.00 toy for his birthday. He paid for it himself. He is such a sweet kid. I think I am going to bring Colton and Calvin to the dollar store today during nap time to get Carrera something little.

School starts in about a week. It is going to be very different around here. I will have five kids here that are all under the age of three. And in January I will be adding another baby to the mix. Child Care keeps me busy. Barnes & Noble changed their hours, so Shane will be working a little different hours. They close earlier, so he is very happy!

I'm going to go brew a pot-o-coffee.

Expectations.

Shane and I have been working crazily on our relationship in the last few months. I learned yesterday that I have to quit having too many expectations of him. Especially ones that are unrealistic. For one, he just isn't a woman, so I can't connect with him in the same way that I can connect with my closest women friends. I really want us to be that close and connect on that level, but it isn't going to be that way any time soon. I guess I can be okay with that.

Tolle Wisdom

"Life wants the sapling to become a tree, but the sapling doesn't see itself as separate from life and so wants nothing for itself. It is one with what Life wants. That's why it isn't worried or stressed. And if it has to die prematurely, it dies with ease. It is as surrendered in death as it is in life." - Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose)

"Your entire life journey ultimately consists of the step you are taking at this moment....this step is primary, the destination secondary. And what you encounter at your destination once you get there depends on the quality of this one step." - Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth...)

I laugh at myself. I can completely fill a journal in less than six months, but can't think of things to blog about. I was sitting evaluating some things in my journal and thought I'd share a few quotes. I have one chapter left in the book A New Earth. Of course I breezed through the whole book and now I'm sitting on the last chapter. I have been reading Oriah's writings. She wrote the poem The Invitation. At first she rubbed me the wrong way, but I've come to realise that the reasons I don't like her are the ways that she is similar to me. Of course we are always more critical of people that mirror our own imperfections. And boy do I have a long list of those. Santa will NOT be bringing me presents this year! If there were a theme for what I am reading right now, and trying to practice in my life it would be Living in Now and Living in Truth.

Ok, nap time is over....

Judgements

It is so fascinating how we can make judgements based on our culture and not think about what we are doing. I have been noticing my judgements recently and laughing over how silly they are. On the way back from coffee this morning I saw an older man in a little red sports car convertible with the top down (late 50s, perfectly groomed silver hair, sunglasses). I thought to myself "Pathetic." Really I know nothing about the man and if it had been a woman I would have thought "You go girl!" Another cultural judgement: two women making out = HOT, two men making out....(you can fill in that blank). And even I, who consider myself to be open minded, politically correct, culturally accepting have those same initial judgements. Awareness is the beginning of change. Can we change our judgements?

Late Night

I got to go out tonight with some of my married girlfriends. It was really nice. In the past few years I have hung out a lot with single people, and it was refreshing to spend some time with people that are in the same stage of life that I am in.

Shane and I did this Needs Assessment exercise for married couples. I've always known I was a little "male," but I now I think that I am really a man stuck in a woman's body. I do LOVE being a woman. I love make-up and heels and men, but I sure act male.

Carrera will be two in a few weeks and she is definitely acting two. It isn't as hard this time around though. After Colton and Calvin surviving the TWOs, I know it is just a stage.

We sold one of our motorcycles, and we have a new one. We are trying to sell my motorcycle and I will get a new one hopefully next Spring.

Shane just got home from work....