Just a Wednesday night.

My professor pulled me aside tonight to tell me that I am an outstanding writer and that I really should do something with that gift. My immediate response was to inform her that my mother is a retired English teacher (as if that explains it all). I have this habit of downplaying my gifts. I am extremely embarrassed when I get compliments, but I also cherish them deeply. I remember every instance that my mother has said that I do an amazing job with my kids. I remember every time a daycare parent tells me how much they appreciate what I do. I remember being complemented on my acting in high school theater. I crave recognition for not only my hard work, but also for my natural talents. Perhaps part of my biggest concern is that, well perhaps, just maybe, I have no natural talent. Or maybe I only deceive people into believing that I do have talent (So silly really. How can you deceive someone into thinking that you have talent?). I have joked many times that my biggest talent is deception and manipulation. And actually, I inherited that ability from my father. But the older I get, and the more I care about people and honesty, the more that gift is dwindling. I no longer can get a stranger to believe something about me that is not true. In fact, the other night while out with friends, I did not lie even once. It feels good to just be Rachel; to be real with not only the rest of the world, but also with myself. I must have natural talent. Even if that talent is only breaking the entrapment placed on me by my ancestors; learning not to lie. I hope that my kids grow up knowing what is expected of them is #1 to be really themselves; to recognize their own talent and embrace that. Can I embrace that I write well? Ah,... that may take me a little while. But I do embrace that I can love well. And I am proud of the direction I am moving.

Fall Update.

Wow, there is so much to write about! I may just start with an update of the family.

Colton & Calvin started 2nd grade in the Chinese Immersion program again. We are contemplating this being their last year. So far the adjustment back to school hasn't been too hard. Carrera has one more year at home with me before she starts kindergarten.

Carrera had her 4th birthday at the end of August and Colton & Calvin had their 8th birthday last week. They had a big party with friends.

All three kids started swimming lessons last Saturday. Calvin starts violin lessons this Satuday. Carrera started dance class last Monday. Shane and I are taking a yoga class starting in November and we are back to having regular date night on Tuesdays. I am taking 10 credits this semester, and am TAing for a class. We are busy.