Family Reunion

This week was our second week of vacation (the first week was in June).This week we had a family reunion on my mom's side of the family. So our week was riddled with seeing family. Not as bad as I expected it to be. It was actually pretty fun.

Stripped

I feel completely stripped of all facades. All the masks are gone, and I really hate what I see. I am pitiful really. Sick and selfish. Appearances have always meant so much to me. It didn't matter if everything was falling apart, I had to portray some image of who I was to someone out there who really didn't matter, completely at the expense of those who matter most to me, my husband and children. Ouch! Well, this is it. The end of it. If I can't walk forward in truth, I'd rather die.

Morals & Kids

I saw a mom almost shoplift at Barnes & Noble today with her son. She nonchalantly put a book in her bag, reached for another book, then she saw me watching her and took the book back out of her bag and put it on the shelf. (Note: I was a customer and do not work at B&N but Shane, my husband, is a manager. I did tell a manager that was working about what I saw). On the way home I talked with Colton and Calvin about stealing. I feel like there are so many morals/values that we are currently teaching our kids. Boundaries is a common word in our house. And Colton and Calvin are learning how to apologize for accidentally hurting another person. So many of our morals we teach by example. When Shane and I yell at each other or the kids, we find that the kids start to yell at us and each other. When Colton or Calvin stub their toe it isn't uncommon to hear them say shit or dammit, just like I do. They both love to hold the door open for people at stores, and I expect it of them. And they KNOW not to steal. It is disappointing to see a mother with a young child teaching the opposite by her example.

Don't let your brain rot!

I picked up the new Brain Child magazine today. Yeah!

It's a Flower Nest.

I really want to start blogging more again. I'm always telling Shane that I feel I don't have much to say. I try to keep up on reading new things so my brain doesn't rot from under use, but life is so busy as a mother I feel I have nothing interesting to tell anyone other than cute stories about kids, or bitching about how sick I am of stepping on Lego's and sand, etc. FACT: there will never be an end to dishes, laundry, and house work as long as we have children.

So, current reads: besides The Berenstain Bears, and flipping through Time Magazine and Family Fun Magazine, I am currently engrossed in Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose and Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children by Sarah Napthali. Both are wonderful. Favorite magazine for intelligent mothers: Brain Child!!! I'm really sick extreme bias in my reading, and I hate ads. Brain Child has a variety of great articles without tons of ads. I also read Mothering (Natural Family Living) magazine, but I get really sick of the extremism!!

My kids love to color. (There I am. Back to talking about kids). I love to color too! My best friend, Virginia, introduced me to Mandalas. I'd like to get a book of them to color, but we are trying to be tighter with our budget so I've printed some off online. Sometimes I feel like I dabble in a little of everything, but lack commitment. Part of that is a lack of time on my part. I would do my yoga if I could find an hour without screaming, demanding kids. And I would run if I could get the time too. I guess I do make time for my morning coffee and journal/read. I laugh when people say "If you really wanted to do it you would find the time." I want to tell them "You go off and have three kids, a house, a husband, and a daycare, and then come back and give me a lecture on time." I do feel like I have just the right amount of time to do what I HAVE to do. That includes spending quality time with the kids, and being available for them and their needs. That is what is really important to me anyway. I would rather have a picnic with my kids than do yoga any day (or most days.... some days :). Lol. Okay, not every day, but I do what I feel is right even if sometimes I'd rather be doing something else. And I have just enough time to do that.