Funny?

Uh oh! Today's Horoscope for Taurus:
You may feel pretty comfortable today, but you still might need to fend off a difficult person. Luckily, you have the skills that you need to protect your safe boundaries. You can even do this in a manner that is kind and supportive. Remember, your nemesis now might not be a real adversary unless you turn him or her into one by escalating a disagreement (by Rick Levine Tarot.com).

Rights.

Shane got home last night close to eleven and held me and told me all kinds of great comforting things. He has this great way of seeing everything from different angles. Basically his point was: if you regret a choice there is no need to stress over it, it will make future choices easier to make. And he is right. I never remember my mother defending me as a child and have always vowed that I would stand up for my kids. I am treading on new ground. I don't know how to defend them because I've never seen it done. Any time that I have defended them I've had anxiety/panic attacks (like last night) and can't sleep or function very well. The last thing I remember thinking before I fell asleep is "She defended her harassing my kids." I am a pretty communicative person and very good at talking about things calmly and rationally. My goal was to come to some kind of understanding with my neighbor about our boundaries and how she treats my kids while on our property and city property (the cul-de-sac), but there was no reciprocation or desire for communication on her part. All she did was defend herself and put the blame on me. Calling the police may have been a little extreme, but I don't think it was a wrong choice. Next time I may wait until I am a little calmer - or maybe not.

Cul-de-sac.

If you would have told me ten years ago that I would have the confidence to call the cops about ANYTHING I would have told you "You don't know me at all." As a passive and insecure college student avoidance was my tactic to solving all problems. I've grown up. Confrontation is a newly acquired skill and I haven't mastered it.

Tonight I called the cops about my neighbor harassing my Colton. The kids know to not touch the neighbor lady's driveway or lawn (or tree). They take great care to keep out of her way and avoid her. She has yelled at them and the other neighbor kids so often that I don't have to tell them that she is "mean" or a "witch" (They figured that out a long time ago). I'll be honest, I did tell them recently that she may be a witch in disguise, just like in fairy tales. That may not have been a smart move, but I thought it might help them to keep away from her and also to not take her TOO seriously.

She is probably only in her early 70s and widowed one and a half years ago (if I remember correctly). She has always been a bit crotchety, but friendly enough with me. She even gave me a baby gift when Colton and Calvin were born. She has grand kids now and they live up the road. She even babysat the other day for her grand daughter.

We live on a cul-de-sac and a bunch of the kids from the houses around us like to bike and roller blade in the cul-de-sac. My kids have strict rules about wearing helmets, staying on the edges of the cul-de-sac, watching for traffic (there is none) and freezing where they are when anyone drives into the cul-de-sac. I have been very impressed with how well my kids follow the rules and have never had any of the neighbors complain (Actually I have only heard good things from all the other neighbors).

Well, the 'witch in disguise' told Colton from her car to get out of the cul-de-sac and that he needs to stay in our driveway. I was so upset that I was shaking. He had been following the rules. I was in the garage and watching the kids so I know he was biking around the edge. When she came back about a half hour later I went over to talk to her. I thought maybe he had misinterpreted her comment. Maybe she just wanted him to move so that she wouldn't have to worry about hitting him. Oh no, he had not misinterpreted her. She told me that kids should not be 'playing' in the cul-de-sac and should stay in their own driveways (Side note: No wonder all her kids are fat as grownups. They were never allowed to get an exercise outside of the driveway.). I told her that if she had a problem with my kids she should come over and talk with me and not harass them, and if she harassed them again I would call the cops. She told me that she was going to call the cops about my kids. So I came home and called. I just wanted it reported in case it would happen again, but the police officer came to the house and talked with me. He said it really doesn't matter where the kids are in the cul-de-sac, that this is a residential area and people that live here know there are kids and should drive accordingly. He said he'd talk with her. So he knocked on her door and she didn't answer. He came back and told me he was going to wait a little while for her. She came out and talked with him about 15 minutes later.

So now I'm wondering if it was really the right choice. It really was the last straw for me. I thought that she would be nice and we could talk politely as neighbors. I actually was crying when I went over there because I was so nervous and I don't like friction. Now there will be friction. Should I have sucked it up again, and not done anything? Should I have just told her to come to me instead of harassing my kids all the time and left it at that? Did I overreact because I'm getting my period and am a susceptible to overreaction in this state? I am completely second guessing myself right now. But I can't go back in time and change anything. I feel proud that after all this time of saying that I am going to go give her a piece of my mind that I finally did.

I've been thinking, what makes a person old and crotchety? I am taking a Community Psych class and in our text book it says that we choose to be old. I think that is true. My neighbor isn't a bad person. She may be bitter and sad at what life has dealt her. This doesn't mean that she has to take it out on my kids, but it does mean that I can show her compassion. How do we show compassion AND set boundaries?

(Afterthought: SO FUNNY! I refused to look out the window when the neighbor was talking with the officer, but the kids were all three watching. They were giving me a play-by-play. I guess she was pointing to them in the window and flailing her arms. They kept saying things like: "I think she is saying that we are stupid." "I think that she is saying we don't listen to our mom and are bad kids." "I think she is saying that you are a bad mom." They had me laughing through my tears. I cried pretty hard for about an hour and a half and Carrera kept saying "Top crying mom. Nobody dead.")

Back from Staycation.

Vacation is over and we are back to work for the next three weeks (then we have another week off). I'm not sure if I did everything on my list. I took a long hot bath and sang Sarah Mclaughlin at the top of my lungs, painted my nails, read very little, drank lots of coffee, finished a few projects, and of course Foley Fun Days, Foley pool with kids and garage sale at Grandma's. I'm wiped, but ready for a week with all my kiddos back and lots of homework. On Wednesday I started missing all my babies, and I also had the revelation that I really did need a vacation. Funny how when you are in the midst of working you don't realise that you haven't really breathed in weeks. I'm breathing today!

Vacation Plans.

All my daycare parents asked me today: "What are your plans for vacation?" I didn't know what to tell them. My plans are:

• To have no plans!!
• Take a long bath.
• Paint my nails.
• Watch a movie.
• Go for a run.
• Stay up late and sleep in.
• Read.
• Drink lots of coffee while reading.
• Finish a bunch of projects that I never have time to do. (Paint our bedroom-fresh coat; re-organize toy room; scrub down table & high chairs; catch up on filing; wash windows; and much more)
• Cuddle with my OWN kids.

Ok, we do have a few real plans:

• Foley Fun Days.
• Bring the kids to the pool.
• Camp in Grandma's back yard.
• Have a garage sale at Grandma's.
• Celebrate Father's Day.

But I think the best part of vacation is to rest and recuperate from life. I need rest, badly!

A.

I got an A in my first class. I started two more online classes this past Monday. I've already finished all my homework that is due until June 26th (two weeks ahead).

Finished.

I'm tired and everyone here has drippy noses and sore throats, but I wanted to say:

I FINISHED MY FIRST CLASS BACK IN COLLEGE!

Tonight I had my final, and I'm fairly, well more than fairly actually, certain that I even have an A. I start two online classes on Monday. More info to come.