Poodle News.

Yesterday one of the daycare kids opened the front door for our Standard Poodle Jes, and off she went bounding around the neighborhood. Our kids got to hear cussing neighbors. I'm not sure why THEY were cussing, when WE were the ones trying to catch the dog. It wasn't like she was hurting anything or anyone. I had to leave for class and Shane was watching the last remaining daycare kid, so I guess he just waited and she came back about an hour later. This was the last straw for Shane. We had no problems with Jes running last summer, but this summer she keeps sneaking out the garage or front door and causing 'grief' in the neighborhood. She also has turned into quite the barker. I ended up getting a bark collar for her and trying to train her. I think that she is too smart for bark collars. She knows not to bark when it is on, but starts up again immediately after it is taken off. The purpose of a bark collar is to train them not to bark so that they don't bark even when the collar is off.

Jes is the PERFECT pet! She is great with kids, very cuddly. She doesn't smell. She is smart. She doesn't pee in the house. She has only chewed up a few of the kids toys, but all puppies do a little of that. She is going to be three at the end of September. She just has so much energy. We were forewarned. We got her from a friend that lives out in the country. Jes loved it there! She could run to her hearts content. But their other dog had it in for Jes and so they couldn't keep both dogs and Jes had to go. I thought that our yard would be big enough for her. We actually have a VERY large yard for living in town. But Jes runs laps back and forth, and wants to be free.

So Shane decided that it is time for Jes to have a new home. I have been crying since yesterday. I LOVE Jes! She is exactly what I want in a dog. I wish I had the time to run with her and play with her more. I wish I had the time to train her.

We don't know where she is going to yet. Shane mentioned bringing her to the Humane Society if we can't find someone who wants her. I don't think I could bear that. It would be okay to give her to someone that we know, or some that we know knows, but to never ever see her again. I don't think I could take that. So here I am crying again.

May 2009 Update.

• Checked to see if Carrera is ready to potty train again over Memorial Day weekend. Nope. So, we're still in diapers. Not a big deal.
• Carrera is a TALKER. Talks ALL the time! She is not afraid of anything except maybe bugs. She is such a confident zealous little person. I have no worries about her, except maybe that she'll get labeled as a bitch.
• Carrera loves Polly Pockets!!
• Colton & Calvin are going to be in summer school. All the Chinese Immersion students qualify for summer school. It will be Tues/Wed/Thur for three hours in the mornings. Only two weeks in June, two in July and one in August. They will be bused. It will be a nice break for them to get away from the little daycare kids and be with kids their own age. It probably will be half in Chinese and half in English. I think the administration hopes that if they get some English in the summer it will help their test scores. And the Chinese teachers don't want them to get behind in their Chinese in the summer, which does happen because they don't hear it at home.
• Colton & Calvin are really INTO Pokemon right now. We made our own Pokemon cards yesterday and laminated them. It was a fun little project.
• We have three weeks of vacation this summer. I had Memorial Day off and it was just a taste of what vacation will be. I am READY for a break! Every year it feels this way. My MIND wants a break from daycare.
• The class I'm taking right now is Mon/Wed/Fri 5-8:45 p.m. (Memorial Day off) for three weeks. One week done!! Two weeks to go. Then I am taking an Internet class June-August. (total of 5 credits this summer)
• In the Fall I'm taking three classes (7 credits). One Internet, one Monday evenings, and one Fridays during the day (if Shane can work it out with work to be home).
• My allergies have been really bad. Finally caved and picked up Zyrtec, but I think it has been making me depressed, so I stopped it yesterday. Trying to find that balance.
• Shane is... wonderful! He needs a break from work too. He has been VERY supportive of me going back to college. I know that he doesn't want me to do daycare for very long after Carrera starts school (in two years). I'm fairly sure I'll be doing it for at least four more years though. It does put a lot of wear and tear on our house and is a high stress job.
• Shane has been riding the motorcycle for awhile now, but I haven't gotten out yet. My plan was to take it to school, but I've been lazy and haven't taken it out for a practice drive yet. I get a little nervous on my first ride of the season.

That's about it.

Thoughts.

So much on my mind.

I am not immune to stereotyping.

When I went to college right out of high school I was very interested in getting my degree in Applied Psychology, but people discouraged me. The main things that I remember about the discouragement were that they said: people that go into that field are wacko, and Psychology is for smart people and Applied Psych is for the dumb people. Being that I have always categorized myself as smart, there was no way I was going to be wacko and dumb, so I filed that desire, and worked towards a degree in History. Now, after ten years, I am revisiting the idea of Applied Psych (it is now called Community Psych). I am taking a Psychology class right now, but I really do not enjoy doing research. I enjoy reading all about it, but conducting it is not my thing. I'd rather be using or applying the research.

My sister, M., and I talked about my stereotypes a few weeks ago. She actually admitted that she may have been one of the people who discouraged me from doing Psychology or Applied Psychology. And then she said "We're all wacko, no matter what field we are in." Well, duh, we are probably wacko before we choose our degree or career, and all of us probably are a little wacko.

Last night I had a second revelation. My other sister, D., once told me that I may not have a large I.Q., but I have a large E.Q. (Emotional Quotient). Obviously, the nature of that comment may indicate that she doesn't have a large E.Q., cause I would NEVER say that to someone. The comment didn't offend me. I took it as a compliment because it was coming from D. (She is one of the sweetest people in the world!). Anyway, does my intelligence really matter? I may not be the smartest in my classes (Ok, so I am smart, just not the smartest.), but with Applied Psych all I need is dedication and desire. My success really is not determined by being the most intelligent.

I am looking at a few options for minors. The first is Early Childhood and Family Studies, which would apply to my daycare training and pertain to what I do now. The second, Women's Studies, which would feed my liberal feminist self. The third is Communication Studies (and/or possibly Intercultural Communication Studies). I actually am leaning towards the third one, Communication Studies.

More 'Life with a 2 1/2 year old'.

A few weeks ago this happened and I wrote it down. Thought you might appreciate more 'Life with a 2 1/2 year old'.

Carrera spit on me and I made a 'hurt' face. She gave me a big hug. Then she said "Mom, I hate you, now I love you." (meaning that she was mad at me and now she's over it and hugging me) and I said "Carrera, I'll love you forever and ever and ever and ever..." Then she joined in with saying "and ever and ever..." and we rubbed noses.

Just sitting.

Just sitting here eating Caribou Coffee Ice Cream, and waiting for my cheese curds to get done in the toaster oven. Shane's really into a good book, so I have to keep my mouth shut. Believe it or not, that is a VERY hard thing for me to do. I tend to talk... a lot. Perhaps it is because I am around kids all day and the little adult interaction I get is with the parents of the kids I watch, or Shane. Most of the parents seem to want to get their kids and get home, so chit chat isn't always welcomed. A little chit chat ok, but... So Shane gets to hear it all. I process life by talking (like many women), and so I talk to Shane. Notice the wording there? I wrote "to" not "with". My bad really. I should be a better talk-with-er. I am working on it though. I have been focusing on REALLY listening to what people say, and I mean rrreeeeaaaalllllllyyy listening. I have found that it is VERY relaxing! But right now Shane is busy, so I am writing TO whoever will perhaps read this. Too bad we can't write WITH. (I can write with ice cream in my mouth.)

Choices, choices, choices.

I took a meditation class this evening (Stopped to go tanning on the way and I think I fried my face a little bit. It feels all crackly.). Now, I'm gonna be a little frank with y'all. I am a firm believer in evolution, and my intellectual self really doesn't think that there is a god/gods, and definitely not an afterlife. But I am still a pretty spiritual person, so I have doubts that my intellectual assumptions are really 100% truth. I mean, truth, just the word brings up so many philosophical questions. That damn little five letter word. So I went to my voodoo meditation class, with the voodoo 'universe and energy' instructor. Actually I really liked her. In other words, she wasn't too voodoo or granola for me. God knows I attract granola people like moth to a flame. I myself, well, I may be a little bit 'tree-hugger' but I ain't 'granola'. Don't get me wrong, I completely love granola people! Their dedication to their way of life is astounding. I just don't want to give up cheese curds and coffee ice cream (or epidurals and Benadryl). Back to meditation (BTW, Shane is going to laugh and tell me that this post is exactly how I talk. I can't ever talk in a straight line, always circles, interjections, unrelated material, argh! Really this IS how my brain works. No wonder I can't sleep at night.) And that side note was a perfect lead into why I LOVE meditation. It is a clearing of the mind, of all the junk that stresses me out and keeps me anxious. Ah, anxiety. If fear is the dirtiest word I can think of, then anxiety is dead second. I hate to even admit it, but I am a VERY anxious person! Some days I think that I may define anxiety. Of course, going back to college and all the 'stuff' (for lack of a better word) surrounding it, is making me CRAZY! I want to be the BEST mother, wife, daycare provider, and friend in the WORLD (Ok, world may be exaggerating a little, but not much.). So my mind has been freaking out!! Can I be a good mom and a college student? Can I be a really good child care provider and be a college student? Can I even have friends when I am balancing being a perfect mother, child care provider and wife with school? My heart starts to race, my brain turns fuzzy, I want to scream!!!! Ahhhhhh!! BUT (a very loud BUT), I know I can be all those things. I know that I can still be a good mom, pseudo-mom and partner. I know that I do very well at balancing and I am even getting better. I know that I am only taking a few classes to see how it goes and that I can drop out any time I feel that it is interfering with my priorities. So, the freaking out is so really irrational. And meditation is going to help me. I was amazed at how great I felt/feel after the class. We only meditated for twenty minutes total, but I felt totally unstressed and ready to be balanced. (Get ready, I am about to connect the circle) Ready to make CHOICES, good choices, best choices. Choices, choices, choices. That is what was really on my mind after the meditation class tonight. I'm choosing to take this 2 credit Psychology class for the next three weeks. I am choosing to take two Psychology classes in the fall. BUT (that is a loud BUT again) I am also choosing to schedule time for school work, separate from my time with work and family. The only way that this will all work is if I make the choices to make it work. Choosing to be balanced. So you may be wondering what all this 'balance' crap is. Well, I come from a family with obsessive-compulsive issues and have myself had similar tendencies in the past. I like to focus on ONE THING and beat it into the ground, make it submissive to me, control it. Ok, it isn't really as sick as it sounds. But my life philosophy has become BALANCE and MODERATION. And for good reason. I firmly believe that my own success is determined by me being balanced and doing everything in moderation.

Shane wants to go to bed, so I am choosing to go to bed. Can't write too much, or that would be excess (not moderation). Hope I didn't give anyone a headache (other than myself) with my circular thinking. Thanks for listening (reading) and being my pseudo-Shane. I'm sure that he appreciated it too!!

Anniversary.

I have been completely wiped at the end of the day with my allergies being so intense, but still getting a lot done before my first class starts. I've been spending nap time and evenings working on getting my financial aid and registration figured out, and finishing stuff that I want to get done before I start school. I figure I'll be doing homework in the early morning and late evening. I refuse to let going back to college hurt the time I get with my kids or my child care business. So today I priced garage sale stuff during nap time and did some mending. I've been getting a lot of odds and ends done after bed time.

Today was our 7th wedding anniversary. This evening we celebrated my birthday, which is tomorrow. Tomorrow night Shane and I get to go out, so I guess that means that we are celebrating our wedding anniversary tomorrow. Mothers Day was on Sunday, and this is Child Care Provider Appreciation Week. So EVERYTHING falls in one week, then it will be over until next year.

Life Update

Just a little life update:

• Carrera outgrew ALL her 3T clothes.
• Carrera is showing all the signs of being ready to potty train... finally!
• Calvin screamed "I hate you mom!" for at least 20 minutes on Mother's Day.
• Colton & Calvin will be going to summer school.
• I've been finishing things that have been on my 'to do' list for years. Now that I am going to be going back to school, I don't want anything hanging over me.
• My allergies are killing me.

Good night.

Follow up on 'Sensitive.'

I did receive a reply from the professor. Another not so helpful e-mail, but she forwarded me on to another professor who is getting me all set up to start a class on... MAY 18! So, I'm on my way.